Gifting a firearm to the woman in your life—whether it’s your wife, mom, or sister—might seem like a thoughtful gesture, but it’s often not the best idea. Firearms are deeply personal tools, with critical factors like fit, caliber, and purpose varying greatly from person to person. Whether it’s for self-defense or hunting, the woman in your life should always have the final say in choosing her own gun. Let’s explore why this decision is so important and how you can support her in finding the perfect fit. It’s a common theme: gun-friendly men sliding into their local gun store to buy a gun for their wives. It happens at other times, too, like Christmas, and it makes some sense since guys often want to share their favorite pastime with their moms. But whether you’re considering firearm shopping for your wife, sister, mother, aunt—or whoever—stop. This is one of those full-stop scenarios. Just don’t do it. The woman in your life should pick her own gun. Here’s why.
Does she even want you to buy a gun?
As someone who’s been referred to as a gun nut by an exec I hope to never see again, I can confirm that my adoration of all things pew is not the norm. Not everyone likes guns, male or female, and it’s never a good idea to force it on someone. Yes, it’s understandable that you love your guns and wish your wife would as well, but that isn’t always realistic. Trying to force someone to get into guns rarely ends well. Don’t push it if you’re aware your wife/mom/sister isn’t interested. Definitely don’t gift her a gun.
Could she even use a gun to defend herself?
I’ve talked about this in various ways over the years, but I’ll be blunt. Not everyone is capable of drawing a firearm, aiming it at another living human being, and pulling the trigger—not even in self-defense, guys. The mentality behind self-defense is important because if someone isn’t willing to actually use that firearm to defend themselves from an imminent threat, guess what? They—or you, whoever the person may be—shouldn’t be carrying a gun. Carrying a firearm for defensive purposes when you’re not willing to use it is dangerous for myriad reasons, including the fact that it opens the door for the gun to be taken and used against you. You can’t force someone into a defensive mindset. They have to get there independently, which often takes time.
Does she enjoy hunting?
In hunting, there’s a somewhat sharp divide between bowhunters and rifle hunters (or handgun or shotgun hunters, if you want to be platform-specific). I mention this because not all bowhunters are interested in hunting with firearms, and vice versa. If the mom in your life does enjoy hunting and has expressed a desire to get a gun for hunting use, proceed…only do it with caution. She should still select her own gun for reasons that span everything from caliber preferences to felt recoil to the length of pull.
Does she have a safe way to store the gun?
Yes, there’s more to life than just getting your hands on your dream gun. You need a safe place to store it. That means if there isn’t already a safe available—or maybe all the safes are already full—you need to get another one. Don’t add a gun to the pile without a good, secure way to store it.
Is the gun really for…you?
Make sure the gun in question is a truly selfless gesture. It’s not your dream gun, it’s hers—and you know that for a fact. This isn’t the time to guess or hope, it’s the time to be utterly confident in your choices. It’s very rarely a good idea to buy a firearm for someone unless you’re sure you know the precise gun they want, including caliber, color, barrel length, and so on. Details matter. When it comes to (legally) gifting a firearm, it’s vital to make it a gun that’s truly wanted.
Why can’t she pick her own gun?
You know what’s great? A trip to a gun store or two, or three, to find the perfect gun for your other half. It might take away from some of the thrill of presenting it as a surprise gift, but by having the recipient participate in the selection, you can make sure it’s right. When you take your wife/mom/sister to pick her gun, make a concerted effort not to insert yourself into the process any more than necessary. Don’t use your preconceived notions and preferences to influence her choices. If it’s a matter of safety, that’s another issue entirely. But generally speaking, you should stay out of it unless you’re asked, and even then, the issue should be approached with caution.
The Mom’s bottom line
It can be fantastic to get a gun for Mom—on any day—but it’s important to be familiar with exactly what that person wants before you gift a gun. If it isn’t something they’d really want, don’t do it. If you’re not sure, don’t do it. And, as always, it’s up to you to be familiar with the local laws and regulations regarding giving a firearm as a gift. With that in mind, here’s a quick note on straw purchases.
There’s a lot of confusion about straw purchases, with a surprising number of people believing any gun gifting equates to a straw purchase. However, that isn’t accurate. An actual straw purchase occurs when someone buys a gun for someone they’re aware isn’t legally allowed to possess, carry, or own a firearm. (That or someone who buys a gun for some dude they just met in the parking lot who handed them a fistful of hundreds. That’d also be a straw purchase.) Giving a firearm as a gift to a legally qualified person is not a straw purchase. It is, however, your responsibility to be familiar with the laws in your area regarding giving firearms as a gift. Do some research and go from there—and for heaven’s sake, don’t give your favorite lady a gun as a gift unless you can look me in the eye and swear you know it’s the exact gun they want, right down to the last detail.
Read Kat Stevens other Gun columns.
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